Dunesteef Blog

Dunesteef Podcast Releasing Month 17

2012-02-17T08:09:00.001-07:00

You know, I couldn't quite bring myself to cut this one up, so you get some kind of giant-sized episode today. Just like the Man-Thing.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoRemo 16

2012-02-16T08:35:00.001-07:00

"Sweet sixteen, ain't that peachy keen;
Now it ain't so sweet to admit defeat."

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 15

2012-02-15T08:09:00.001-07:00

The 15th? Does that mean that it's hump day? Or was that yesterday...

No matter, we'll never make it. Tee hee hee, never.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 14

2012-02-14T08:47:00.003-07:00

Hey, it's Valentine's Day, everybody. If I had planned this in advance, this would be the episode where we REALLY get offensive. Or our shortest show ever. Or both.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Dunesteef Podcast Recording Month 13

2012-02-13T20:37:00.001-07:00

Lucky thirteenth show, everybody!

Of course, the "luck" only applies if you don't listen to it.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 12

2012-02-12T08:04:00.002-07:00

Seems like this was the episode where we talked about lil moptop child actors. Only one way to be sure.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 11

2012-02-11T08:41:00.002-07:00

We've got a one-off episode today, which is way easier to edit than the massive ones. Don't know if they're better or worse, from a listener point of view. I know my mom hates the mystery books where it's just the story of another case with so-and-so private investigator or cop or pathologist, and in the end, it's just a matter of time before there's another mystery they have to solve. But pretty much everybody else I've talked to absolutely loves the book series that are like that, so maybe she's weird that way.

Oh wait, what was the subject again? Precious Moments or something?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 10

2012-02-10T08:37:00.002-07:00

It goes on and on and on and on and...

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Dunesteef Podcast Releasing Month 9

2012-02-09T08:13:00.001-07:00

More conversation between Big and Rish. Sometime they may reach their point.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 8

2012-02-08T08:52:00.001-07:00

No, the madness never ends. Or at least it'll seem that way to most.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 7

2012-02-07T08:12:00.001-07:00

Does this madness never end?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Dunesteef Podcast Recording Month 6

2012-02-06T09:28:00.005-07:00

So far, it appears the experiment is a success. If by "success" you mean, we have actually published an episode every day this month. All other definitions need not apply.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 5

2012-02-05T08:31:00.002-07:00

Day five and this has already become as tedious as that Traffic Lights song by Monty Python. Really sorry about this folks. Keep listening though, okay?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Related link:

Monty Python's Traffic Lights Song

DuPoReMo 4

2012-02-04T08:38:00.003-07:00

The Dunesteef Podcast Recording Month continues, as scheduled.

If this posting thing works, that is.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 3

2012-02-03T08:38:00.003-07:00

The February conversations continue. Just try to ignore them.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Little Anklevich

2012-02-02T16:27:00.002-07:00

R080T the Racist Robot, Announcer Man the Man Who Announces, and Rish Outfield The Sexist Podcaster are proud to announce the birth of Biggie's newest child, Aloysius Bespin Anklevich, born today, 2nd of February, 2012.

Apparently, both mother and child are doing fine. The father, however, is allegedly fatter than ever.

Please send donations in lieu of flowers.

Rish

P.S. I had actually suggested "Klaatu" as a middle name, but Big thought that sounded ridiculous.

DuPoReMo 2

2012-02-02T08:37:00.003-07:00

Dunesteef Podcast Recording/Releasing Month continues. And it's been brought to my knowledge that there's actually twenty-nine days this month. Guess we'd better go back to the microphones.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

DuPoReMo 1

2012-02-01T08:33:00.006-07:00

Hey, kids! Hard to believe it's already February, which just happens to be Dunesteef Podcast Recording Month. Even though that was technically January. Maybe we should call it Dunesteef Podcast Releasing Month, and be more accurate.

Every day this month,* Big and Rish will release podcast installments of their usual chatter. If all goes well, there will be twenty-eight installments by the time the month is over. And if all goes weller, only some of you will have been offended by the material (rather than all).

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

*Some of the episodes are stand-alone, and some are broken up pieces of longer conversations, so it's probably best to start here and go forward.

A Month of Sundays

2012-01-30T02:22:00.003-07:00

Boy, have we got a treat (or trick) for you! For some mad reason, Big and I have decided that February is Dunesteef Podcast Recording Month, and we plan to post a recording every single day of the month. We've already started, and it's been quite a daunting task.

Also, it's lots of unscripted banter, so there's probably as much (if not more) offensive stuff bandied about as always, as the subject of movies, television, audio books, misandry, Leap Years, "Twilight," Big's writing, Scott Westerfeld, REAL STEEL, exercise and weight loss, "The Hunger Games," Precious Moments, deals with the devil, Mel Brooks, pretty boy actors, "John Carter of Mars," Monty Python, sex, STAR WARS, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," TITANIC, "Pride, Prejudice & Zombies," podcasting, feminism, STAR TREK (2009), torture, Precious Moments, "Eight Is Enough," action movies, Rish's writing, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," child actors, inspiration, and The X-men.

If you're one of those (few) people who enjoys the conversation after the story, then you may enjoy it. If not, then my money's on No.

That Gets My Goat 66: Boys Versus Girls

2012-01-25T00:02:00.002-07:00

Finally, we can retire this subject.* Big and Rish continue the discussion of movies/books/entertainment for girls and movies/books/entertainment for boys, and hopefully something positive comes out of it somewhere.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

*Until next week, that is.

How do you know?

2012-01-24T13:43:00.006-07:00

I can just hear Big singing the song from ENCHANTED that sort of starts that way. But this is actually directed at you artists out there (mostly writers, but also singers, painters, dancers, sculptors, musicians, and people who throw fake blood on women wearing fur): How do you know when what you've created is really good?

I've asked it before many times, I know, but I thought I'd do an episode in March where Big and I talk about the subject, and refer to the comments and insights shared with us by the people out there in the podisphere (or whatever the real world now looks like). Perhaps someone out there has an answer that I can use to, if not improve myself, at least make an interesting discussion out of.

I'm a very creative person, constantly thinking up new story or cartoon or joke or scare or movie concepts and ruminations. I try to write down the really good story ideas, with differing results. Sometimes, I recognize that the story ended up really lame (and that perhaps the idea was lame to begin with), but every once in a while, I think, "Wow, this is good stuff . . . maybe even great. Maybe among the best stuff I've ever written!"

But that's come back to bite me before. I've entered contests where I think my story was better than the one(s) that beat it out, or thought it was perfect for a podcast or magazine, only to have it rejected. And when Big commented the other day how much higher his story in a previous Broken Mirror contest ranked than mine, I started to worry that I have no realistic understanding of my own work.

How can I know?

For example, I've been bending his ear about a story I wrote last year that I think is right up there with the best stuff I've ever written. I thought it scary, funny, and one of those pieces where everything came right together. But now I'm afraid not only to share it with my friend, but to share it with anyone. And afraid that I am deluded, broken, and have no real clue what sucks and what doesn't (at least with my own work).

If that's the case, then I shouldn't bother sharing my work anyway, since only a crazed mind like mine can think it's the opposite of terrible. Right?

But enough about me, how do you know if what you have created is better than usual, or at least better than average? Can you tell before it's done, and you take a step back and look at it from a distance? Are you aware if it's going in the wrong direction and you have to slam on the (metaphorical) brakes and get it back on track? And what if you were done, and proud, and then someone else told you "you were up in the night"--as the farmers in my town used to say--that it's nothing special, or even awful? How does she know that you love her?

Rish "Deluded Hack" Outfield

That Gets My Goat 65: What's In A Name?

2012-01-17T15:22:00.001-07:00

The conversation continues. Do words like "Mars" and "Death" repel women viewers like a kryptonite crucifix? Why didn't Big's wife like "Ender's Game?"

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 64: Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

2012-01-09T23:58:00.004-07:00

Inevitably, a conversation about how sexist comic book movies are is going to address the point that some movies are made for men and some are made for women. Apparently, the studios think that certain words are alienating to one gender or the other. If you're lucky, the conversation doesn't devolve into Boys Versus Girls.

Big and Rish are not lucky.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish on Podcastle

2012-01-06T11:55:00.005-07:00

Last year, Rish was fortunate enough to be asked to read a Tim Pratt holiday story called "The Christmas Mummy" for Podcastle. It was quite well-received (and why not? Everybody loves Tim Pratt, and the story called on one of the two things Rish can actually do successfully).

Well, it's a new year, and Dave Thompson has gotten Rish to read another tale, this one a romantic-comic-fantasy story called "A Window, Clear As A Mirror" by Ferret Steinmetz. In the story, a man is heartbroken when his wife leaves him to live in a mystical faerie kingdom, and becomes obsessed with reuniting with her and finding out why she left.

According to Dave, the story was meant to be funny. According to Rish, the story is among the saddest ever told. You be the judge.

Thanks Again

2012-01-04T22:56:00.002-07:00

A little while ago, Scott Pigg donated a whole bunch of new recording equipment to the show. It arrived in installments, making each day seem like another day in Chanukah, even though I'm not Jewish and really have no idea what Hanukkah might actually be like, or how it might be spelled.

Once it all came, I went about trying to set it all up, and found one slight problem, the screw in part on the microphones didn't fit the screw on part on the stands. I was flummoxed. I had no idea how to remedy that problem. Maybe there was an adapter somewhere that I could get that would join the two?

Well, you know my way, what I did instead was nothing. The equipment sat there in my room, filling me with that Jewish guilt that I shouldn't be able to have, since, again, I'm not Jewish, but there it was.

I figured I'd send Scott an email with a picture of the screw in and the screw on, and see if he knew what we should do. First, though, I figured I'd take a look at it one more time, and see if I could figure it out.

He he. If only I'd done that sooner. Within seconds I realized that there was an adapter. It was already screwed into the microphones. It adapted the mics to smaller screw ons, and all I had to do was remove it, and then my screw ins would fit the screw ons.

Before I knew it, I had the whole works set up, and we were in business. We're still learning how to use it a little bit, so hopefully things don't sound worse because of our cluelessness when it comes to technical matters. But starting with the next episode, you'll be hearing us on our new equipment. How about that?

Oh, here's a picture of us from Monday night.

That Gets My Goat 63: Who's Not Directing Thor 2?

2012-01-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

In the beginning of a hopefully-not-incendiary discussion, Rish brings up Patty Jenkins, the one-time announced director for Marvel's THOR 2.

In the time since this recording, Alan Taylor (director of television's "Game of Thrones") has been hired to take her place.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Related Links:
Dr. Pepper Ten Commercial

Rish and Big on "Journey Into..."

2011-12-26T21:32:00.005-07:00

Marshal Latham's "Journey Into..." podcast probably has the best theme song of any show I listen to. Of course, I'm fond of the themes to Pseudopod and Escapepod, but neither of those have Jean-Luc Picard or Rod Serling in them.

This week, "Journey Into..." presents the story "The Mansion" by by Henry Van Dyke, a tale similar in many ways to Dickens's "Christmas Carol," except much more church-centric in nature.

I (Rish) was lucky enough to be cast as John Weightman, the pious rich man who makes certain that every good deed he does will profit him, and has his name attached to it. Bigglesby Anklevich also does a voice, that of the Ghost of Christmas Ye--er, the Gatekeeper. Sorry.

Also on there are pals of ours, Josh Roseman (narrating), Julie Hoverson (sounding all hot, despite not trying to), and Marshal himself (ditto). Check it out here, if you've got a spare hour and eight minutes.

That Gets My Goat 62: A December To Remember

2011-12-23T22:28:00.003-07:00

Rish and Big have a gripe to make about those insipid car commercials with the giant bows.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Related Links:
Lexus Commercial Parody

"Marley was dead . . ."

2011-12-18T21:53:00.004-07:00

Rish here. Recently, Renee Chambliss told me about a podcaster, Douglas Welch, who was putting together a group of other podcasters to read his adaptation of Dickens's "A Christmas Carol." Since that's my favorite book, I leaped at the chance, and was hoping that my two favorite segments ("May you be happy in the life you've chosen" and "Oh, tell me that I may sponge away the writing from this stone!") were not yet taken.

They were, but I at least got to do the "It should be Christmas, when one drinks the health of such an odious, stingy, unfeeling man as Mister Scrooge" scene. There's about twelve different readers, including Renee, L. Scribe Harris, and Bryan Lincoln. In listening through, I found it odd that I was pretty much the only guy that did voices (Scribe and the Pendragon ladies also went for it), and that gives me pause. I could write an entire post on that. But I won't.

I also noticed that the quality of readers varied, but that the folks we've had on our show were among the best of the bunch. A little fatherly pride, that.

So, check it out here, when you get a chance.

Or, I suppose, I could try to figure out how to embed it on our own site. Someday.

I know that some may tire of "A Christmas Carol," since it's a bit ubiquitous, but I'm proud to have been part of an adaptation.

Rish "Ignorance & Want" Outfield

That Gets My Goat 61: Coulton in Concert

2011-12-14T02:29:00.007-07:00

Rish and Big finish their conversation about their recent outing to a JoCo concert. Don't worry, they won't just talk about it the whole time, there will be music samples to make it bearable.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Related Links:
Coulton does Mr. Fancy Pants 1
Coulton does Mr. Fancy Pants 2
Coulton does Mr. Fancy Pants 3
Photo by cfinke

Rish on Pseudopod

2011-12-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back, Big got to read a story over at Pseudopod called "Killing Merwin Remus." Now it's Rish's turn.

The story is called "The Stink of Animosity" by Rob E. Boley, and it's one of those familiar yarns about a man who meets a mysterious stranger in a bar one night. Plus, you get the always-inspiring Alasdair Stuart putting in his two cents at the end.

Can I say something here about Pseudopod, all off the record-like? I have to admit that I don't always like the stories they run on there, maybe because I'm hard to please when it comes to Horror. But I ALWAYS appreciate, enjoy, ponder, and thrill to the sections at the end when Alasdair gives his opinion, life-lesson, or creepy inferences. The man is a consummate professional, with a voice like peach molasses, and manages to make not only every episode worth listening to, but even his plea for donations something unique and welcoming.

It's an honour to be able to share the podasphere with that man. And in the coming global apocalypse, I hope to be able to share a shopping mall with him as well.

That Gets My Goat 60: TMBG on TGMG

2011-12-05T13:17:00.011-07:00

Big and Rish managed to take in a concert recently, and they didn't even consider inviting you. They Might Be Giants were the headliner. Rish isn't really a fan, but Jonathan Coulton was there, and though it was a snowy night, just act as though it's a blue sunny day, alright?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Photo by cliff1066™

P.S. If Rish really hates James Blunt so much, why did he have a copy of that song lying around?

Rish on "Journey Into..."

2011-12-04T02:25:00.002-07:00

Our pal Marshal Latham does great work over at the "Journey Into..." podcast.

Rish has been fortunate enough to lend his voice to more than one episode, and here he is again, this time in a Tim Pratt story, called "The Dream Engine." It's a multi-part production, and the second part should be arriving any minute now.

Tim Pratt wrote my all-time favorite Escape Pod episode, and manages to produce knock-out stories with the consistency of a young Mike Tyson.

Renee Chambliss narrates, Abbie Hilton shows up for a moment, and our buddy Bryan Lincoln also contributes a voice to the story, so you're in for a treat.

That Gets My Goat 59: Punch The Keys!

2011-11-26T19:46:00.003-07:00

Big and Rish finish their discussion about stories and Rish's problems with a recent story. If you got something positive out of this trio of episodes . . . then that makes two of us.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 58: The Road Goes Ever Onward

2011-11-21T02:28:00.006-07:00

Oh no. Another long one.

Or oh yes, if you're into that sort of thing. In this continuing discussion of a recent story reading, Rish talks about the ending of the story, how one knows when to end a story, and one particular Oscar-winner that ended over and over again (you know the one).

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 57: You Go Down the Stairs

2011-11-13T18:14:00.004-07:00

This week (and next), Rish feels impelled to ramble on about a story he read recently, and ask the musical question . . . "Why?"

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Thanks For The Donation

2011-11-11T17:54:00.002-07:00

The other day, producer extraordinaire, Scott Pigg, told me he had something he wanted to send our way. He said it was nothing fancy, just something he happened to come across that he thought we'd like. I agreed, and soon he said it was on its way.

Monday, as Rish and I arrived at my house for our weekly recording session, we saw a box on the front porch that had been left their by FedEx or UPS or whoever. It was addressed to Big Anklevich, and inside, we found a couple of nice boom-armed tripod microphone stands that would allow us to get our mics off the table, and prevent a lot of the incidental noise you might notice on our show when we bump the table or use the mouse on the computer while talking. We were really stoked. This would improve things a lot. Now all I had to do was find a way to get Rish to stop adjusting his mic while speaking, and we'd be in business.

We were both very thankful to Scott, but we had no idea that things weren't done. Not even close.

The next day, I came home to another box. This time it contained two very nice condenser microphones. Things were going to sound a lot better thanks to Scott. This had already become the biggest donation that anyone had provided to the show, but it still wasn't done.

When I arrived home from work the next day, there was a third box on the porch. Inside was a new stereo mixer, and some nice pop filters. Scott basically outfitted us with a new recording studio. I almost expected the doorbell to ring, and find a contractor there saying, "Hi, uh, Mr. Scott Pigg sent me over. He says to add a new recording studio onto the house. So, yous guys want I should get started on that right away?"

It's really a good thing that Scott did things the way he did, because we'd surely keep limping along with what we've got, rather than buying new equipment. And perhaps he talked with someone who might have clued him in on our reluctance to accept things like this from listeners, so he snuck it past us before we could say that we're fine the way we are. Whatever the deal was, we're really grateful for the donation. Things should start sounding better on our show pretty soon.

I'm sure he didn't do it to get recognition or wind up with a post about him on our blog, but we just wanted to express our appreciation to him. Thanks a lot, Scott.

Rish on "Old Year's Day"

2011-11-10T14:36:00.001-07:00

Mike Murphy over at Misfits Audio writes a lot of audio dramas. It seems like there's a new one up every couple of weeks. I did a bit part in his newest one, "Old Year's Day," which is a fun story about an old woman who makes a deal with the devil to go back to when she was young and happy.

I might not even write about it, since I have three or fewer lines, but I really enjoy these type of stories, of people trying to best the devil, get out of their deals, or the clever way Old Scratch gets one over on them after all. I wonder if you could make a TV show with the devil as one of the protagonists. Every week, he meets somebody new, observes them for a while, then tries to offer them their heart's desire in return for their soul. Maybe there's another main character whose job it is to help the mortal win in the end. Sometimes it works out for the good guys, sometimes for the baddies. Heck, you could call it "Beat the Devil," I don't know.

Anyway, check it out if you have a few minutes and enjoy audio dramas over at www.misfitsaudio.com.

The longest fifteen-minute episode

2011-11-08T14:07:00.003-07:00

Big and I got together last night to do our recording. We hadn't met up last Monday because of Halloween, and the week before that had just been re-recording things that were ruined from the week before that. We had no episodes of either show in the can anymore (except for that lost episode of TGMG that I frankly will probably never edit now), so we had to start afresh. But on what?

There were a couple of things I wanted to talk about on the air: the depression that comes for me every year around this time, how I listened to all of an audiobook I hated because the reader was so good, about going to a dance club on Saturday night and the girl who shrieked at me for spilling her drink and then said "That's hot" when I cleaned it up, the two dystopian future books I'm reading that make me really afraid of tomorrow, the concert Big and I went to together, the fact that I refuse to submit my stories anywhere even though I realize it's totally damning, two horror films I watched last week back to back and why one worked and the other did not, the outrage I felt at what happened to my character on the "Star Trek Outpost" stint I did, why we have closed submissions, the problems I observed with a story I recorded for another podcast and why the author made certain choices I didn't agree with, how the silly alternate reality Halloween podcast came about and why I wish we had known going into it what the other was going to do, and three stories Big and I ended up writing recently based on the same premise.

I told Big, "Hey, we've got all these things we can talk about, maybe we should just sit down for fifteen minutes each and get all these topics out there." He thought that was fine, so we started up the first one. An hour later, I was still talking. I could tell he wasn't really riveted by the conversation by the way had written "I pray to Shiva, let me die" on the kitchen counter with his own mucus. I apologized, and vowed to do better on the next topic.

And hour and ten minutes later, we finished recording that one. My hint that we had gone overtime on that "Gets My Goat" was that Big had bitten off his own tongue in an attempt to choke himself to death. By now, it was two-ten in the morning, and we hadn't yet recorded our next episode of the real podcast.

Well, we did manage that, and in record time, so that it was just after four when I got home. I don't know whether I should feel like we accomplished a lot or almost nothing.

Rish "Mister Brightside" Outfield

That Gets My Goat 56: The Dork Knight

2011-11-05T17:11:00.002-06:00

Rish complains about BATMAN BEGINS, THE DARK KNIGHT, and THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. Or something. Maybe he was complaining about not complaining about them.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Big on "Journey Into..."

2011-11-02T19:36:00.001-06:00

Recently, Sir Bigglesby lent his voice to Marshal Latham's "Journey Into..." podcast, "Hop Frog" by Edgar Allan Poe. Big voices the character of Hop Frog, which isn't much of a stretch for someone who sounds that much like Kermit.

Check it out over at www.journeyintopodcast.blogspot.com.

Rish on "Night of the Living Trekkies"

2011-11-01T19:52:00.002-06:00

As we've mentioned on the show, author Kevin David Anderson has written a Sci-Fi/Horror parody called "Night of the Living Trekkies," and the folks over at 3015 North Studios have adapted a short chapter of it for audio. It's called "The Cage," and Rish got to do a little narration on it. Also, our pal Tanja Milojevic does a voice, edited by Brian Lincoln, and foleyed by Scott Pigg.

It's pretty messed up, but you may well find it amusing. Check it out here! Romulan ale for all!

That Gets My Goat 55: 1,000,000 Words

2011-10-27T11:34:00.000-06:00

The writing conversation winds down. How many words of crap do you need to get out? Does podcasting count? What about blog posts about podcasting?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish on "Star Trek: Outpost"

2011-10-22T12:45:00.008-06:00

I hadn't mentioned this before, I'm not sure why. I recently did a three episode arc over at Giant Gnome Productions' "Star Trek: Outpost" series. The storyline is called "The Melnoran Solution," written by Tony Raymond and Daniel McIntosh.

This Trek series is very dialogue-heavy (as would be expected in audio), and this series of episodes are heavy on politics and protocol. Audio drama is really hard to write and pull off. I don't really know the series, except that it is very popular, award-winning, and each episode is massive, around an hour ten.

I play the part of Kar'rl Droonga, a Betazoid emissary, and his character takes a bit of a turn in his later appearances. It surprised me, since I wondered if I played the part correctly, not knowing where it was going. It must be a bit like playing a part on a TV show with no idea what is to come, only to find out your character is a murderer, or a spy, or a love interest, or is killed, as soon as you get the next script.

It was one of the more difficult productions I've worked on, and required a hell of a lot more time than I'm used to. But the show is high-quality and professional, with original score, sound effects, and a full cast of better-than-average actors, so I guess it's worth it in the end.

Or you can be the judge.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Red Shirt Rish Outfield

That Gets My Goat 54: Write of Way

2011-10-21T01:33:00.004-06:00

Big and Rish continue talking about writing. What happens when everybody loves your old stuff more than your new stuff?

I didn't listen closely, but I believe this episode was completely Hitler reference-free.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 53: Big's Middle-sized New Goal

2011-10-14T23:01:00.005-06:00

Recently, Big and Rish had another one of their go-to conversations, this one about writing. And Big presented his new goal for the month: to eat only clear things, like ice and soup and some kinds of gravy. Barring that, he's got a writing goal too.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Slutty Halloween Episode

2011-10-13T12:00:00.001-06:00

So, next week we'll record our Halloween show. Last year (or it might have been two years ago), Big and I went to a costume shop and looked at all the outfits available for purchase. He was disappointed to find that a lot of them were risque or adult, yet marketed to kids (or "tweens," whatever the hell they are. I bet they don't have a word for "tween" in Chinese . . . which we'll all be speaking soon). He wanted to talk about it on the show, but we didn't.

So, this year, we will. We'll be giving a Top Halloween Costumes 2011 list, and here's how you can help: in the Comments section below, give us your suggestions. But the gag is, they have to be in the format Slutty ________, as in "Slutty Piglet Costume." We'll read the funniest ones on the show. It may be another Dunesteef disaster, but as a greatish man once said, "Why not?"

Big Anklevich Story on . . . YouTube?

2011-10-08T17:51:00.002-06:00

I was messing around on YouTube today, watching interviews, when I stumbled across something I didn't know existed: a production of one of Big's short stories, "Breaking and Entering," produced by Scott Pigg. He posted a couple of instructional videos on his edit of the story "Whelp," and as a bonus, put up his production of B&E. It also included a bit of our shenanigans whilst recording it.
We have four or five very short tales we've written that Big and I will send out to potential producers or voice actors, and this was one of them. I can't figure out why our own voices would be on there, unless Scott said he didn't want to perform the characters, just edit it. But it was really well-done, and a nice surprise on a Saturday afternoon.

That Gets My Goat 52: Groan Ranger

2011-10-06T02:07:00.004-06:00

Wow, seems like a while since Rish and Big were on here, doing what they do best: complaining about stuff. Actually, that's pretty much all they do on this series, when they're not droning on and on about movies.

This week, you get both! And twice as long! Who loves you, baby?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Update On The Whale

2011-10-04T12:28:00.003-06:00

Just wanted to make a quick update about that white whale that I mentioned a few posts back.

Last night, Rish and I recorded the story during our regular recording session. I had a good time doing it, and singing the title of the story to the tune of the "Go, Go, Power Rangers," song over and over and over again. I really like the story, and Rish had never read it before, so it was fun when he figured this thing or that thing out, and I got to see it on his face when they clicked in place for him. Not that there's a lot of mystery to the story or anything, but, you know.

I was glad to see that he liked the story too, because I've talked it up for so damned long that I was afraid that he'd be horribly let down by it. Nice to see that not happen.

Anyway, we're that much closer to the story with the best title ever hitting our show. There's still a big line of stories in front of it, but it's that much closer. Yeehaw!

That Gets My Goat 51: With A Name Like "Cowboys & Aliens..."

2011-09-30T17:16:00.006-06:00

Big and Rish finish their conversation about COWBOYS & ALIENS, bringing to an end their movie rant series. What was wrong with C&A? Might it have something to do with the title? What's in a name?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Big and Rish on "Journey Into..." podcast

2011-09-30T10:33:00.003-06:00

Our pal Marshall Latham over at his podcast "Journey Into..." recently used us for a full-cast production of
"The Trial of Thomas Jefferson" by David Kirtley. It's something of an upsetting story, a dark vision of a murky future where, through the use of time travel, the greatest evildoers in history are finally punished. It's something of an all-star production, as Marshall voices the main character, Abbie Hilton voices his wife, and Podcastle's Dave Thompson voices a paralegal. Big voices the character of the Judge and Rish does the narration.

Check it out. This story upset me, but not in a bad way. May you be upset as well.

Big reads a story on Pseudopod

2011-09-25T23:27:00.001-06:00

It's true, Lefou! I found it to be as unusual a request as you surely do. A few months ago, Shawn Garrett, the editor at Pseudopod sent me an email asking if I would read a story for his show. I squinted at the email, shook my head to clear and strangeness that might be going on, yet it persisted. The person they were requesting to read the story was Big Anklevich. Nobody wants Big Anklevich to read a story. That's like asking John Oates to guest on your album. If it was a Muppets tribute show or something, maybe I can understand, but even then, Rish does a better impression of Kermit than me. I just sound vaguely like Kermit or Ernie, so that it brings them to mind without actually sounding anything like them.

Anyway, I just figured that Shawn didn't know our show well enough, and had the two of us mixed up. So, I recorded the story, edited it, and sent it out to him, expecting that he'd get it, and swear when he realized the mix-up. I just hoped he didn't throw out my recording and hand it to some other non-Muppet sounding guy once he stopped swearing, because that would suck.

I never got an angry email from Shawn, and this week, the story went live on Pseudopod. So, either he was too worried about his release schedule to throw out my recording and start over, or he actually wanted me to read it not Rish. I suspect it was the former, and he is just too nice of a guy to say anything about it, but maybe that's just my own insecurities talking.

You can listen to the story here. Hope you enjoy.

That Gets My Goat 50: You Got Your Alien In My Cowboy!

2011-09-24T12:14:00.004-06:00

Big and Rish have reached the end of their summer movie viewing. The last one: COWBOYS & ALIENS.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish's Least Favorite Part of the Show

2011-09-23T12:25:00.004-06:00

(I initially wrote this over at our forums, which is over at dunesteef.freeforums.org, but I thought I'd repost it here, so all my rambling wouldn't only be witnessed by the three users not checking those boards at 5K marathon rest stops.)

I'm not sure if it's obvious, but I really hate asking for donations on the show. Partly, it's my personality. It feels to me a little like like begging for money on a streetcorner, or at least asking a girl out on a date (repeatedly), and I'm no good with that. In my day to day life, I find it incredibly difficult to ask people for money (or sexual intercourse, but I think that topic's been covered).

The other reason, though, is that I often hear it on other podcasts: the obligatory plea for fan support. I know it's obligatory because it FEELS obligatory, as vital a part of their shows as a commercial break on television:
"Please give us money to pay our authors and cover our hosting costs!"
"Please vote for us in the Parsec Awards (or Hugo awards)!"
"Please give us five stars on I-Tunes or Podcast Alley!"
"Please tell your friends about us!"
"Please, please, please, let me get what I want. God knows it would the first time."

When I hear the way the other shows so shamelessly whine about needing money (jeez, there was one who said, "Look, we only got $100 in donations in the last two months. If we get even one more month with that little listener support, we're gonna have to quit doing the show." It repulsed me more than any "Me love you long time" prostitute spiel because it not only had no dignity, but Big and I would be dancing a merry Irish jig with KISS makeup on if we ever got $100 in donations), I shudder and/or roll my eyes. Because I could never do that. I could never come on that strong, hammer it home in such an uncreative, pontificating way, or act like somebody owed me money for the show that I do.

Instead, I've always tried making it funny. "Now's the time to BEG for donations!" "What, Bullwinkle, again? That trick never works." I try to make a mockery of the process, and switch it up every time. And my guess is that they're never funny (mostly because it's a drudgery, and it's hard to be funny when you're doing something against your will), not in the way that other parts of the Dunesteef might be.

I realize it's important to ask for donations. And that there are new listeners every couple of shows, who haven't heard that a free podcast isn't really free. But I simply won't read the same scripted thing every week (unless it's as a joke), and Big and I will even switch up what Announcer Man says at the end of every episode (hope you've noticed).

It's hard, though. Hard to humble myself and say, "We need your help. Don't make us pay for the show out of Big's pocket. We rely on your generosity to be able to buy Catastrophe Baker and Popoca and CHEMO and butthelmet-sorcerer-scorpion stories. Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."

But do I really have a choice? I mean, we NEED donations to stay afloat. Big takes care of the financial upkeep of the site and podcast and payments, and he has more money problems than Peter Parker. Big constantly tells me he wants to pay the authors more (and he feels that the higher the payment, the higher-caliber of writers will submit, whereas I think we have pretty great writers now, and paying them more will just get us more submissions), and the only way to do that is to get the fans to toss us a few bucks now and then. If just a handful of people subscribe to that monthly/quarterly thing, we stay afloat.

We've got the whole incentive episode scam--er, service as well, which I think is a good idea, since I enjoy producing my own stories almost as much as Well-Told Tales used to, but Big thinks that is a case of diminishing returns. So what else can we do? Do listeners hate the pleas for donations as much as I hate asking for them? Do people even listen all the way to the end of the show? Is my way truly better than the shows that have a script they read from every week, asking people to send them money?

I don't know. Do you?

Rish "The Scrounge" Outfield

That Gets My Goat 49: What's the Score?

2011-09-12T10:48:00.005-06:00

Rish and Big finish their conversation (wow, now months old) about CAPTAIN AMERICA, talking about the music of the film. Nice to hear them complaining again, isn't it?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

The Final White Whale

2011-09-07T13:02:00.003-06:00

There's this story that I read...a few years ago now. I loved it so much that I insisted to Rish that we had to do it for the show. Now, Rish didn't need much convincing. All I had to do was tell him the title of the story, and he was on board.

I tried to contact the author, and was unable to. I let it sit for a while, then tried again, and was still unable to. I let it sit for a while longer, then tried again. I was still unable to get a response from him. At this point, it had been more than a year since I first read the story, and I was forced to admit that it was probably never going to happen. Of the many white whales that swim beyond our reach on the Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine, this one seemed to be the one we'd never be able to harpoon.

Last night, however, as I was preparing to write my 500 word quota for the day, I thought, out of the blue, that I'd give this author one last chance to be a part of our show. I fired off a quick email, and then got on with what I'd turned the computer on to accomplish.

I was very tired last night when I sent the email, and I'd almost completely forgotten that I'd even done it. As if I was drunk emailing or something. So this morning, when his response came back, it was like an unspoken prayer had been answered with a Christmas miracle. He agreed to let us do his story on the show.

I'm so stoked. You know, there's been many things that we've wanted to do with our show, and I think, once we podcast this story, we'll have accomplished them all. The final white whale will be harpooned, and I'll be able to die a happy man. Good thing Rish has got that final episode edited and ready to post, huh?

So anyway, I'm not going to tell you the author's name, nor the story's title. I want to keep that close to the vest so that you can't ruin your appetite by reading it ahead of time. Just know that, about six months from now, when a story with a completely unforgettable title appears in the queue, all things have been accomplished, and I can die satisfied with myself.

"Go then. There are other worlds than these."

That Gets My Goat 48: Avenge Me!

2011-09-05T16:13:00.004-06:00

Big and Rish continue talking about CAPTAIN AMERICA...sort of. This seems to be mostly about World War II and the Avengers now.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 47: Oh Captain, My Captain

2011-08-27T16:11:00.005-06:00

Rish and Big went to see Marvel Studios' CAPTAIN AMERICA as soon as they were able, and only now can they tell the tale.

Or, a third of it, at least.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 46: "I Was Harry Frigging Potter"

2011-08-20T23:40:00.004-06:00

Bringing the "Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows: Parte Deux" conversation to a halt, Rish and Big talk about the legacy of these films, and the young actors that starred in them.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Fake Connery Sings!

2011-08-19T17:45:00.002-06:00

Have you ever heard the recording of Sean Connery covering "In My Life" by the Beatles?

It's actually rather glorious.

However, Connery's sing/speaking style is not perfect for just any song. Take, for example, that "Since You've Been Gone" song by Kelly Clarkson that Big's daughters love so much (for some reason). I got Sir Fake Sean Connery to do a version of it, and it's just dreadful.

What other songs would it be a mistake to hear Sean "sing?"

Or rather, hear "Sean" sing?

cool interview on Fullcast

2011-08-16T21:02:00.000-06:00

I know this is supposed to be a blog where I blather on and on about the show, in between posting episodes of me blathering on and on on the show, but I just listened to a really cool interview with Norm Sherman over at Bryan Lincoln's Fullcast Podcast. Bryan and Abbie Hilton talked to Norm about how he does the Drabblecast, they joked around, and even talked about the Dunesteef a time or eight.

Bryan always does a butt-kicking job for us when he produces our episodes (new one up next), and Abbie once gave me money just to voice a character for her. This is a particularly hilarious episode, but their podcast is always informative, interesting, and comes out way more often than our show, I believe, so check it out over at www.fullcastpodcast.com sometime.

Tell 'em R080T sent you!

That Gets My Goat 45: Welcome Back, Potter.

2011-08-11T15:06:00.004-06:00

Rish and Big continue their discussion about HARRY POTTER 8, and the franchise in general. Lots of superlatives are used.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 44: Expecto Dunesteefum

2011-08-04T11:34:00.003-06:00

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART TWO has come and gone. But before that happened, Big and Rish got together to talk about it. A lot.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Parsec Nominations Announced

2011-07-30T22:53:00.004-06:00

I got an email today, from another podcast I lent my voice to, expressing disappointment that his show didn't get nominated for a Parsec Award, and he included all the shows that did, for some reason.

I looked it over. And the Dunesteef was on there. Thrice.

Crazily, we're nominated for Best Speculative Fiction Audio Drama (Short Form) for our production of "A Place So Foreign" by Cory Doctorow (which Big produced), and for "This Must Be The Place" by Elliot Bangs (produced by Bryan Lincoln). It's really cool to be on the list of finalists. There were many readers, musicians, effects artists, and voice actors*, without whom those shows couldn't have happened. And the most credit, of course, has to go the generous writers, who created two entertaining and unique time travel stories (both with the word "place" in the title), and lent them to us for practically nothing. Kudos.

I am worried about being nominated in an "Audio Drama" category, since that's not really what we do on our show, but they classified anything with two or fewer readers simply as "Story," and anything with three or more readers as "Audio Drama." Somebody somewhere will probably pitch a fit, but until the powers over at the Parsecs create a "Fullcast Reading" category, that's where we find ourselves.

The other nomination was for Best Speculative Fiction Magazine or Anthology Podcast. That's kind of amazing, since it's a recognition of our whole body of work, at least in the last twelve months, and it's greatly appreciated. So, if you've contributed to the show in any way, feel free to slice off a little bit of the nomination for yourself.

I said last year--and still mean it--that it's an honor just to be nominated, but we do work awfully hard on our show**, and it's nice that somebody noticed.

Rish "Big-Head" Outfield

*Including my niece, who wouldn't say "hell" when a story called for it, so I had her say "shell" and trimmed the "sh" when she wasn't looking. Tee hee.

**But not enough to get a show out every week, sadly.

That Gets My Goat 43: Unhappy Feat

2011-07-26T02:21:00.004-06:00

In this episode, Rish wants to talk about CARS 2 even though Big hasn't seen it, but then they talk about a trailer to an upcoming movie . . . and we discover more of Rish's latent serial killer tendencies starting to emerge.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 42: Evil's Mite

2011-07-19T21:05:00.002-06:00

So, the GREEN LANTERN conversation has not so much come to a close, as completely fallen apart in a digression of random topics like SUPER 8, trailers, Harry Potter, and "The Wonder Years." Would you have it any other way?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

A Conan Story By Any Other Name

2011-07-14T01:27:00.003-06:00

Was it our last episode of the show where Big talked about his rule that we don't run stories that other shows have podcast? If so, then I'm a great big hypocrite, 'cause lookee what we have here.

Basically, I was over at Podcastle's site yesterday, looking through their story titles, and I came upon a Conan the Barbarian tale by Robert E. Howard they had run recently, "The Gods of the North." It didn't sound familiar, so I started to listen to it . . . upon which it sounded VERY familiar.

You see, for my birthday two years back, my buddy Jeff gave me a book of Howard's Conan stories, and the very first one in there (or it might have been the second) was one called "The Frost-Giant's Daughter," which told the same story. With the same words. Exactly.

Apparently, it was originally sent to (and rejected by) Weird Tales magazine, and Robert Howard rewrote it, changing Conan's name to "Amra of Akbitana," and changing the title to "Gods of the North." Then, Weird Tales was happy to run it.

Well, when Jeff gave me this book, it was during Big's last two week visit to Canada, and I so enjoyed the first two stories in the collection, that I decided to record a reading of them, either for our podcast, or just for the hell of it. You see, the majority of Howard's Conan stuff was written in the Thirties, and has fallen into the public domain, so I figured we could podcast as many of these stories as we wanted as episodes of our show, especially when money got tight to buy new work.

After laying down the straight read, I went back through and added tons of unnecessary sound effects. Sadly, doing the kind of stories we do takes loads of time, and though I finished "Frost Giant's Daughter," I ran out of time (and steam) in the middle of "The Phoenix On The Sword," and never finished editing it.

But in hearing the first story on Podcastle yesterday, I thought I'd grab the mp3 of my own reading, and stick it on here, just for fun.* Perhaps of the three of you that read our blog, one of you might enjoy comparing and contrasting the two readings. But we warned: MY Conan of Cimmeria tends to sound like a certain Austrian actor, Cyberdyne Model 101.

Rish Outfield of Stygia

*This is not to say that the Podcastle version, read by a friend of the show, Graeme Dunlop, is the inferior version. Hell no, I imagine there will be many that find my reading unlistenable. Still, what the devil are they doing reading my blog?

That Gets My Goat 41: In Blackest Night

2011-07-13T17:40:00.003-06:00

"You're doing a superhero movie, you gotta spend at least two hundred million! You need extra explosions, and lots more CG suits and stuff!"

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 40: Green Lantern's Sh*te

2011-07-09T16:04:00.004-06:00

What aspect of the GREEN LANTERN movie could bring back Angry Rish Outfield? And somehow, STAR WARS gets brought up...again.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

On My Own

2011-07-05T12:58:00.001-06:00

Hey folks, Rish Outfield here. Every year around this time, my good friend and cohost Big Anklevich goes on a family vacation. It's a way of letting me know that the world does not revolve around me, as he always picks either the week of Comic-Con or the week of my birthday to be gone, leaving me alone again . . . naturally.

So, we won't be having any new episodes of The Dunesteef for a little while (not till the middle of the month at the soonest), and for that, I apologize.*

In the meantime, I have chopped up our discussion on the GREEN LANTERN movie (along with some SUPER 8 talk), and will be sprinkling those in here intermittently, and if I can manage it, there's a special episode we recorded back in March or so that I'd like to release as well (though it would probably work better on our main feed). Nevertheless, you are not forgotten, and I hope the Bigless time really flies by.

Your fiend,

Rish Tiberius Outfield

*I also had to make the hard decision of which of our two completed episodes would drop before Big left and which would have to wait to air until he got back. I owe you an apology, Mr. McKeown.

That Gets My Goat 39: Green Lantern's Dark

2011-07-04T00:52:00.005-06:00

Big and Rish start talking about GREEN LANTERN (although Rish probably wanted to say a bit more about SUPER 8).

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Note: This was recorded right after GL's opening, when it looked certain that the costly flop marked the death knell for B-level DC superhero movies. Who could've guessed that Warner Bros. would try to put a positive spin on it all?

That Gets My Goat 38: Third Class/Steerage

2011-06-28T20:13:00.001-06:00

Rish and Big finish talking about the newest X-MEN movie. Rish talks about alternate universes, and Big explains his Rule of Sequels.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish on "Guru Showdown" tournament o' champions

2011-06-21T11:49:00.003-06:00

Earlier this year, both Big and Rish were contestants on "Guru Showdown," an online trivia game show where one competes against experts in their chosen category, such as Animals, Music, History, and Medical Practices of the Dark Ages. Well, not only did we appear on the show, but friends of the Dunesteef Rich Girardi, Lizanne H., and Josh Roseman.

So, by some miracle (or cheat), our own Rish Outfield ended up in their season-ending tournament of champions, the Guru Gauntlet Championship. The three players with the highest score faced off against each other, and that episode is now available to listen to. Or watch, if you have a great imagination.

So, did Rish bring shame to the Dunesteef Family (not to mention the once-proud Outfield name), or did he hold his own? Find out in Marvel Comics!

That Gets My Goat 37: Second Class

2011-06-19T13:16:00.003-06:00

I think Big and Rish are actually ready to talk about X-MEN: FIRST CLASS. But you never know.

By the way, I'm thirty-seven, I'm not old.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 36: First Class

2011-06-12T22:53:00.004-06:00

Big and Rish went to see X-MEN: FIRST CLASS together, but don't really talk about the movie much. Oh well, there's always next week. And the week after. And...

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 35: On Lamer Tides

2011-06-08T10:48:00.000-06:00

Rish and Big have nothing to say about PIRATES 4. You think that's an exaggeration?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Video Test

2011-06-07T15:28:00.006-06:00

It's the video podcast test!!

Hi, everybody. Big here.

I got the idea that doing a video podcast could be really cool a while back. So, I made Rish sit down with me, and I recorded us and put it together. Now that we're done, and I watch it, I'm not sure if it was such a good idea. But here's our test. Check it out and tell us what you think. If it seems like it's worth it, we may do further video casts in the future that might include Announcer Man and R080T as well.

By the way, our conversation could possibly be offensive. Rish and I play a mini-round of "Wouldja," so if that kind of thing offends you, then you ought to skip it.

Rish reads a story on PodCastle

2011-06-01T11:30:00.002-06:00

Recently, both Big and Rish got to read stories for the folks at Podcastle, and one of them is now up for your wistening peasure. In preparation for a multi-story incentive episode, Rish got to read "L is for Luminous," by Tim Pratt. It's part of a special sample episode with three other alphabet stories read by Norm Sherman, Dave Thompson, and Mur Lafferty.

I guess that makes Rish the Aquaman of this particular Justice League.

That Gets My Goat 34: Thor, He's A Jolly Good Fellow

2011-05-30T00:11:00.001-06:00

Look, they can't all be funny, okay?

In the final part of our THOR conversation, Big and Rish talk about the Darcy character, CG, the romance, believing a man can fly, and whether Rish could talk about the death of Gwen Stacy without crying.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 33: Thor and More

2011-05-22T05:35:00.001-06:00

Big and Rish continue talking about THOR, and get awfully side-tracked along the way. They talk about box office and speculate about the upcoming days (and the then-upcoming PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4). Did they guess right?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Top Five ____ List?

2011-05-22T02:13:00.001-06:00

I was editing our next episode today, and came across a moment when I wax nostalgic about doing our little Top Five lists in past years of the show. And even though Big verbally rolls his eyes in this part, I agree with the guy who says it's been too long since we did one.

So, I figured I'd ask y'all. In the comments section, give me a suggestion for a Top Five list you'd like to see us discuss sometime on the show, and maybe I'll bribe/coerce Big into doing it in the near(ish) future. Party on, Wayne!

Rish "Bottom Five" Outfield

P.S. In the interest of fairness, if you agree with Big on this, and never want us to do another one for as long as we live, go ahead and let me know. Thanks.

That Gets My Goat 32: Thor Losers

2011-05-14T01:40:00.002-06:00

It's the return of TGMG, with Big and Rish talking about the mighty THOR! Part one of . . . where's the symbol for infinity on this keyboard?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish's voice in "The Swamp"

2011-05-11T21:59:00.001-06:00

Rish here. I've been able to do a lot of auditions lately for audio dramas and fullcast podcasts (which are two different things, but are sadly considered the same by the Parsec Awards). One that just went up was "The Swamp" over at Lightning Bolt Theater of the Mind.

I do the part of Detective Davidson. There were a pair of detectives in the auditions, (a "good cop" and a "bad cop"), and the mean one seemed like more fun to me. Upon reflection, perhaps "bad cop" isn't accurate. More like, nasty, unfeeling, gigantic douchebag cop.

It's forty-four minutes long, which I know from recent experience is a hell of a lot of work. They always do a good job over there, and Tanja Milojevic is as cool as she is difficult to pronounce (they also did the "Buffy" podcast I'm really looking forward to hearing). Check it out here!

That Gets My Goat 31: Ch-Ch-Changes

2011-04-18T12:25:00.001-06:00

The conversation started out about race, but somehow devolved into talk about comic book movies. If you squint your eyes like it's one of those Magic Eye pictures, you can sort of see the connection.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish and Big . . . On Collaboration

2011-04-13T16:10:00.000-06:00

RISH: Let's see, where do I begin? Rish Outfield here, at the end of March/beginning of April, trying to write about my latest collaboration, with my buddy Big on a story for a contest that we tried to enter together. I use the word "tried," because--spoiler alert--it didn't end up working the way we had hoped when all was said and done.

I thought it would be fun to have both of us write this blog post together. That way, it would be like our collaboration, and we could perhaps create something unique, or at least mildly interesting.

Big, are you there?

BIG: I'm here. Sounds good to me.

RISH: How's it going?

BIG: Good, you?

RISH: I'm actually feeling like the floor of a truck stop men's room. That's why we're talking over the internet and not in person. But I figured I'd take advantage of the situation. Otherwise, we'd never write about this.

BIG: Why do you know so much about truck stop men's rooms anyway?

RISH: Every man has needs.

BIG: Sorry, that's beside the point, and I'm derailing the conversation. Go.

RISH: So, there was one of those pesky internet writing contests, and I got it into my head that I was going to enter it. Basically, there was a premise (just two words) we were to write on, and try as I might, I couldn't come up with a compelling story that went along with it. You hate that word, "compelling," don't you, Big?

BIG: It's a little over used. So, what did you do, Rish, I'm interested.

RISH: Well, I mentioned this to you, and how the ideas I was thinking of were just terrible. And you said, "We should write it together when we hang out on Monday," and I agreed.

But we didn't talk about it when we met to record our show. Why do you think that was?

BIG: We never talk about what we're supposed to when we get together. We're too busy eating BK Stackers and looking for good shipping boxes at Walmart.

RISH: Yes, I'm a box scrounger.

BIG: But later that week, while I was driving home from work late at night, out of the blue you called me on my cell and wanted to brainstorm.

RISH: Right. We just kicked around "what if"s during the drive home, and it's kind of like how when you talk to a counselor or a psychiatrist or a kidnapper, and you come up with thoughts you wouldn't have had on your own. Suddenly, I came up with a premise: a Science Fiction story done as a John Hughes Eighties movie. I started at the end, the way the boy would realize he loved the girl when it was almost too late, and rush to tell her, face to face. But this girl was going to be an alien.

Is that how you remember it? Because I've found that even though I experience things and write them down as they actually happened, other people who were there tend to remember them differently.

BIG: I remember taking the two words that they wanted us to base the story on, Last Contact, and trying to figure out why it would be the last contact. First Contact is a common thing in Sci-Fi, but what would make it the last contact? Well, the aliens would have to be leaving instead of staying. How can that be a story, and you, right away, came in with the John Hughes thing.

It took almost the entirety of my drive, but by the time we were done, we had something we both liked.

RISH: So, either your phone battery ran out or you got home, and you hung up, and I started to write the outline. We had to come up with the why and how of it all. Where did she come from? Where was she going? Questions that I pretty much answered instinctively, writing things down until I got to the end of the story--which was the genesis of it all.

What were your thoughts when you read that file?

BIG: I liked what you'd come up with. I took what you sent me, and tried to expand on it. I've been trying to improve the quality of my characters lately, by writing a good-sized bio on each of the main characters, so that's what I did first for our two main characters. Then I took your outline, and tried to parse it into scenes. Unfortunately, I think I took too long, because by the time I got it back to you, you had given up on waiting, assumed I'd bailed on you, and started writing it.

RISH: We had this idea--or maybe you had it--of doing a back-and-forth tennis match sort of thing with the story. I'd work on it one day, then you'd work on it the next day, then send it back to me. Was that how we did our first collaboration?

BIG: Yeah, that's how we did that "Spirit Of Christmas" story that we did last year...er, year before now. I thought it had worked well, so I proposed we do it that way again.

RISH: Oh, and I guess I have to say that that was not technically our first collaboration. Years ago, you had written a screenplay, and either you gave it to me or I stole it from you while you were passed out, and I completely rewrote it, adding in jokes and entirely new sequences, without ever consulting you. In my mind, it was the perfect collaboration, because I got to do what I wanted, and you had done all the heavy lifting.

I thought the script got really good then, and couldn't wait to shoot it. But it never got shot. I wonder if my fiddling with it contributed to that disaster.

BIG: Any project I was in charge of was always a disaster, so I'm sure it had nothing to do with it...or not all that much to do with it anyway.

RISH: One thing that I should have focused on, and didn't, was what the aliens looked like. Because you and I ended up having very different visions of their appearance, which I'm sure still don't jibe today.

BIG: Well, they changed even in the middle of the story, so who knows.

RISH: I'm not a good collaborator. I have been writing for MANY years, and so, I have grown confident that a story with my hand in it should go where I want it to go, even if that direction turns out to be a surprise to everyone else. Or to me.

You said recently that I was very much like Harlan Ellison, who is renowned for being a giant douchebag and incredibly difficult to work with. Wes Craven had him kicked off the set of a project they were working on, and Ellison calls him a stupid little punk to this day.

BIG: Not because you are a giant douchebag, but just because you don't like to have your stuff rewritten by others. That's not really Harlan's worst quality.

RISH: Well, I'm not really sure how to respond to that. If I had more confidence, I'd say it was because I know what's good and what works and I don't see the benefit of pretending the people who disagree with me are not wrong. I have no chance of a political career, I guess. Or any career at all, come to think of it.

But if there's anybody on our podcast that's gonna get hate mail or drive listeners away or upset people or get thrown off the set, so to speak, it's gonna be me.

BIG: Oh what a giveaway!

RISH: And since I'm the bad guy, I can go ahead and totally burn my bridge by saying that instead of expanding on my outline (as you later did), the first thing Big contributed was a character profile on the main two characters. And it horrified me.

Suddenly, the main guy, so easy to relate to because he was a Mary Sue or whatever those are called, became a jock, and a dude with lots of girlfriends. And became the kind of guy I hated in high school, and still hate, more or less. I guess I freaked out. You had made him you, and as you and I have discussed many a time, you would have been one of those guys in high school that put me in the trash can or whipped me with towels or told me you were going to kill me after class and then laughed about it to your brain-dead asshole friends.

I probably should've just dropped out of the project at that point. But I had this silly notion that, since it was my idea and I'd come up with the whole story, that I probably ought to stay onboard till the end.

BIG: Well, you found a way to live with it, and still wrote on it somehow.

RISH: I hear about all these other writers that collaborate with their friends, or with total strangers, or with a ghost writer (or the opposite of a ghost writer, which is a credit-hog, I guess), and I do not know how they do it.

BIG: But you did it.

RISH: Well, let's talk about that. Tell me about these character sheets, and how they've helped you in your stories.

BIG: Okay. Well, I've only done them with two stories so far. This one with you, and an earlier one this year. I've noticed in the past that my characters are too much like myself. Nothing different about them at all. So, I went through various books about creating good characters, and gleaned a bunch of questions that I could ask myself about characters so that I know them enough that I don't fill in their back story with thinly-veiled me.

One thing I figured with this story was that the character had to have a change of heart. The story was about this guy seeing the alien as a person and not a thing. So I wanted him to be kind of a jerk to begin with. Hence I made him an alpha male type guy. Someone who has always been on the outside of things would have an easier time accepting people who look funny. So that didn't seem like the right main character for the story.

RISH: Something that probably would've gotten brought up if we'd discussed the character in any depth. Sigh.

BIG: I guess that's not actually answering the question. How have they helped me. I felt, by spending as much time as I did on the characters with the first story I wrote though, was that it led me in directions that I'd never considered for the story.

And the story was, I felt, richer for the effort that I put into the pre-planning.

RISH: What are some of the questions that you ask yourself about the characters when you do this?

BIG: Well, aside from the obvious questions of who his family is, what his past was like, and that kind of stuff, one of the questions that I think is good to know about any character is what their biggest regret is among other things, because things like that will motivate the way your characters act.

RISH: Hmm. That's probably good advice for anybody writing a novel or doing a collaboration.

Okay, on with the countdown. In the time that I thought you weren't getting back to me--and that was, what, five minutes?

BIG: It was worse than that. I took several days, I'll admit.

RISH: --I wrote my own version of the opening scene. But then you surprised me by not only still wanting to do the story, but by having written your own opening scene. Any idea how close to the deadline we were by then?

BIG: By the time we started writing the story, we were about three weeks from the deadline, I think, maybe less.

RISH: Oh, I think we were there when we first had our conversation about it. But I don't know.

I had thrown in a little joke in the outline to amuse you, and you had actually incorporated it into that opening scene.

So, what to do about the two openings?

BIG: Well, I took yours, and did my best to meld the two. I have to admit that that was the hardest part for me. I was ready to give up and just say, go ahead and write the story. It's yours now.

RISH: After you melded the openings?

BIG: No, before. I just couldn't figure out how to meld them. It was too daunting. You had started it your way, and I couldn't figure out how to put the two together. I took a long time to finally write that. I kept opening the file on my computer, looking at it for a long time, then closing it without actually writing anything. But the pressure of it being time to give it back to you finally motivated me enough to type a few crappy words, and then send it back to you.

RISH: I did not know that.

Once we had gotten over that hurdle, we started to do the tennis match thing. One day I'd write on it, then the next day, you'd write. And it went fairly quickly then (I thought), except I often write long-hand, and found it a chore to type up what I'd wrote.

BIG: I felt bad, because I didn't feel like I was doing my part. You'd write a shload of words, something like a thousand or more each time, and I'd wind up getting maybe 250 in on my turn. My job and other responsibilities were making it difficult.

RISH: I found myself getting greedy, though. I'd come up with an idea when it wasn't "my day," and really want to write it down. Also, as you know, some days are less busy than others, or you have more imagination or creative spark, and other days, you just want to take a nap.

But the deadline was looming, which has always been strong motivation for me.

And the other thing was, I had a feeling-- Nah, screw it, I KNEW that this was a really good story. Sometimes you just don't know.

Or at least I don't.

BIG: Yeah, I feel that way a lot. I just don't know if my story is a good idea or not. Or more likely, I feel that it probably isn't a good idea.

RISH: And on this one?

BIG: I wasn't sure, but it seemed like a good idea to me.

RISH: Well, I felt like, if we could get it done in time, and send the mutha in, that we would do well in the contest, if not win it.

Some writers say that only non-creative turds work from an outline. But with something like this, a collaboration that's not face to face, I don't see how anybody could have finished it without it.

The deadline loomed--I think it was only two or three days away--and we only had two or three scenes left to write. I felt like we were going to make it.

BIG: And then we did our first word count on the story. The contest had a limit of 3500 words, with a few scenes still to write, we were at 10,500 or so. There was no way, whatsoever that we could enter it for the contest we'd set out to write it for.

RISH: Is that something you told me the second you saw it?

BIG: No, I actually kept it a secret, because I was afraid once you'd heard that news you would lose all motivation, and the story would never get finished...

RISH: You were wise in doing that.

BIG: ...but you did a word count like the same day.

RISH: Oh.

Ah, and here's another thing I probably should have said before. I envisioned this as a movie, as a sort of John Hughes Eighties Sci-Fi movie (if there could be such a thing), and a movie is a SMEG of a lot longer than 3500 words.

I was a little disappointed, and I think I left the last bit for you to finish up.

BIG: Well, I did finish it up, but it was only because it was my turn.

I could tell that we weren't going to be even close to the right word count pretty early on, so I was already thinking of other places we could submit it instead. Asimov's, F&SF and various other mags out there take novelettes.

But yes, I typed in the last page or so, and we finished the story up.

RISH: How did it feel to type those two words?

BIG: It felt good, although admittedly, I never type those words. I've come to see the importance of them though, since I've read so many submissions where I get to the end and wonder if I was missing the last page or something.

RISH: I love those words. But I'm weird.

BIG: Well, I don't type them mostly because you never see them in a book of short stories. The story just ends when there's no more words.

RISH: What's kind of ironic--damn you, Morrisette--is that the deadline was April 1st. And on March 31st, they announced the deadline was April 15th. We could still enter the damn thing, if we wanted to try again.

I'm going to do another another pass on the story, once the bleedin' podcast is out of my hands. Maybe you will too.

BIG: I will.

RISH: But now that you've another collaboration under your belt, what are your thoughts on the story?

BIG: I liked it.

RISH: On collaboration?

BIG: I think with a few more tries, we could come up with a good system, and turn out some nice collaborations without so much struggle.

RISH: I'm glad you feel that way.

BIG: What are we going to do next?

RISH: I actually had an idea today that I thought might be kind of fun. But it may work better as a Broken Mirror sort of thing.

BIG: Cool, well, we'll have to find something.

RISH: But what about my Ellisonism?

Which is like Onanism, but less messy.

BIG: (sighs) Goodnight, Rish, talk to you later.

RISH: Okaaaaaaay.

That Gets My Goat: Now Available With An RSS Feed!

2011-04-11T20:04:00.000-06:00

Since we started our secondary podcast, That Gets My Goat, we have had one request above all others.

But we're not going to kill ourselves. Not yet, anyway.

Beyond that, though, one or two people have suggested we create a feed for our lil' sister podcast, and it appears as though that day has finally come.

Here is a link that, if clicked, should take you to iTunes where you can subscribe to the That Gets My Goat podcast, having the episodes delivered to you with no effort needed on your part any further. Hope you all enjoy.

Subscribe in iTunes

If you'd prefer a different reader, there are several at this page to choose from:

Subscribe in a reader

That Gets My Goat 30: The Will Smith Card

2011-04-08T23:47:00.001-06:00

Big and Rish continue their conversation about comic book movies and racism.

Boy, does the fun ever start?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 29: The Other R-Word

2011-04-01T03:18:00.001-06:00

Uh oh, looks like Rish is courting controversy again. A bit of hullabaloo has been made concerning superhero movie casting, and the question gets asked...am I racist?

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Big on Guru Showdown

2011-03-29T13:02:00.002-06:00

As we mentioned recently, our pal Lizanne Herd competes on an online game show called "Guru Showdown," where she is the irritatingly-knowledgable Animal Guru. Rish was a contestant in the past, and now, it's Big's turn.

Can Big Anklevich beat the gurus? More importantly, can he beat Rish's score?

Check it out here!

Find out if Big knows the B-52's annoying hit, Rock Lobster. And if you'd like to be a contestant, head on over to www.gurushowdown.com.

Big and Rish on "The Drabblecast"

2011-03-25T15:51:00.001-06:00

We Dunesteef boys were lucky enough to provide voices on the Drabblecast's long-awaited 200th episode. We play a pair of chatty scientists in Isaac Asimov's 1956 story "The Last Question" (which was apparently his favorite of his own short stories), and the extra-long episode can be found here.

It's always nice to do a part on the Drabblecast, and I hope there's somebody out there who thinks the same of us.

That Gets My Goat 28: A Glee To Disagree

2011-03-23T22:29:00.003-06:00

Big and Rish continue their conversation about FOX's hit TV series "Glee." Big talks about his problems with it, and they discuss why Rish likes it so much.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

The Greatest Generation?

2011-03-21T17:56:00.000-06:00

Here I am at work, toiling away, when suddenly I hear coughing and retching noises over my right shoulder.

Announcer Man is puking into the garbage can. Concerned co-workers rushed to his side to help him, and managers quickly excused him to go home to rest and recuperate.

I don't think, in my many years working at this place, that I have ever seen Announcer Man go home from work without completing his shift. He usually puts in a half an hour more than everyone else in the building. There's something unsettling about seeing something like this take place. It's akin to heading out to the beach, to find a massive humpback whale stranded and dying on the beach; or driving down the freeway to find a big rig tipped onto its side, blown over by the wind. These are usually unbeatable monsters, that were never meant to be seen in a vulnerable position like this.

Of course, being the stalwart that he is is probably why he was here puking in the trash can instead of vomiting into his toilet at home like anyone else would be.

Luckily, the smell never made its way to where I sit.

-Big Anklevich

...Oh, to top it all off, after five minutes in the bathroom, Announcer Man comes back to grab his things from his desk. He professes to feel much better. "I could probably stay and make it now," he says. I can't help but laugh. His level of dedication is beyond understanding for people of my generation or younger. His attitude is from a completely different, and bygone era.

That Gets My Goat 27: Glee Full

2011-03-16T22:25:00.005-06:00

Rish and Big talk about FOX's hit television show "Glee," which Big has just seen for the first time. They discuss why Rish dislikes it so much.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 26: My Unfunny Valentine Cont'd

2011-03-05T00:27:00.002-07:00

I don't know why we split this, since there's so very little of it left this week. I guess I just wanted the embarrassment of Rish talking romance to stretch a little longer.

Hug your loved ones tight, folks. Life could be worse.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 25: My Unfunny Valentine

2011-02-28T11:22:00.002-07:00

So, Valentine's Day has come and gone, so Rish asks Big what he did for that auspicious holiday. Unfortunately, Big asks Rish the same thing, and it's all downhill from there.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish on "Guru Showdown"

2011-02-26T17:07:00.000-07:00

Friend o' the show, Lizanne Herd does some kind of twisted online game show called "Guru Showdown," in which she is the Animal Guru. If you defeat her, you live. If she defeats you, she gets to decide what animal in her menagerie you are fed to.

For some reason, I ended up a contestant on their latest show, which can be found here.

Turns out a rhinocerous horn is made of hair, not nouget.

Liz mentioned afterward that I sounded uncomfortable and nervous. Well, I don't know if I was nervous, but I certainly wasn't funny, and I was thoroughly thrashed by the competition most of the time. If you care to give it a listen, check it out at www.gurushowdown.com.

Perhaps we can get Big on there as a contestant in the near future. That' oughtta wipe that smile off his smug face.

Known?

2011-02-22T19:39:00.003-07:00

It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong, the old saying goes.

I've never been a big man. Even at my fattest, I don't know that I could be considered "big." But last night at the Anklevich house, when we were recording for the show, I meant to make an admission as part of an episode. Then we ran out of time, so it went unsaid.

But why not use the blog for it?

My sister was over for President's Day, and she wanted to see a movie. Try as I might, I just couldn't convince her to go see The King's Speech, which I've been unable to get anybody to accompany me to.

So, I asked her what looked good to her. She told me Unknown, the film with Liam Neeson. She said it looked a lot like Taken (and certainly the TV spots and posters have done all they can make that true).

My sister is the only sibling who will go to the movies with me, so I said I'd accompany her. And I guess that makes me something of a hypocrite, because didn't I do an entire episode of That Gets My Goat decrying the trailer to that movie, and proclaiming it so spoilerific as to obliterate any need to ever see the film proper?

Yes, I did. But she's family, and I don't exactly have people breaking down my door to spend time with me. Were the right girl interested, I'd probably go see Transformers 3.* So we hopped in the car and went to see Unknown.

And here comes the uncomfortable part. I quite enjoyed it. Even having seen that damned trailer . . .

(this is extremely difficult to get out)

. . . which didn't give away as much as I'd originally decided.

In that rant about that preview, I compared it to infamously bad trailers for Double Jeopardy and the last one they did for The Sixth Sense, and I stand by my condemnation of those and others like them. They truly do a disservice to the film they advertise. But the Unknown one . . . well, it was somewhat misleading, and some of what it shows turns out to not be what it appears.

So, I was wrong. I said so when Avatar came out, and I'm saying in now. But while I have you on the line, let me take the opportunity to condemn the TV spots that I've been seeing for Unknown the last couple of weeks. They end with a line--one so contrived to be reminiscent of Taken you'd almost think it was from a deleted scene--that is truly and utterly spoilertastic, just as I decried the initial trailer for being. All through the movie, I was waiting for that line, putting the pieces together in my head so that I had figured everything out before the audience was supposed to, and when that line did come, I thought, "Well, there it is, roll credits."

I still quite dislike the initial Unknown trailer, and heartily despise any advertisement that spoils, ruins, reveals, or dumbs down the movie its promoting, but I'm admitting I was wrong about the movie itself not being worth seeing.

I'll leave you now to your regularly scheduled life, but not before anticipating that I will be wrong--AGAIN--about The Social Network winning Best Picture. Not only was I hasty in that assessment, it appears I will be financially punished for it by Las Vegas bookies.

Ah well. Always in motion is the future.

Rish "Big Man" Outfield

*Of course, that'd have to be some woman, and her intentions for after would would have to be awfully unsubtle.

That Gets My Goat 24: The Lost Episode Part Two

2011-02-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Big and Rish continue their shelved episode about the Lifetime Movie Channel and seeing men as monsters. Once again, this show may be even more offensive than usual, so keep at arm's length.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat: The Lost Episode

2011-02-11T19:37:00.005-07:00

Last year, we recorded an episode where Rish complained about the Lifetime Movie Network and its depiction of men, among other semi-related topics. When all was said and done, however, Rish was afraid that he might--once again--offend somebody with the discussion, and shelved it. But it's 2011, a more enlightened age, so here it is, that fabled lost episode.

Of course, he may have been right not to air it, so if you are easily offended, go ahead and skip this one. Or not-so-easily offended. Or offended ever, just to be safe.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.